Friday, February 03, 2006
so basically, this is my blog. my blog, my blog. it's for me to read. it's my comfort. my rambles, so on and so forth. please tag if you're visiting or whatever. if ur visiting, im sure ur cool =) it's not so easy to find this page's url.
you know. i've been so quiet these few months. im glad. thankyou Lord. i've been more patient and i haven't really burst out in anger or frustration. the only thing im really feeling horrible about is kurt.
he's so.. weak. so.. depressed. it used to hurt to see him like that, but now, i just want to avoid it.
i felt so useless when he told me his problems everyday. his new problems-everyday. i kept telling him all the things that would pull me out of the situation he was in if i were him, but he will just say "yea. you're right" and the very next day, he would go on about it again.
the peak of our friendship would be during the exam period. with the stress of homework and his problems piling higher and higher, i cried everyday. my head would remain down for the whole day. i even thought thoughts of hurting myself physically. i went quite mad. when i look back, it's quite frightening. the reason why i avoid him is because im afraid i'd become like that again.
i know im selfish. i know he's probably hurting, maybe these are all excuses, but i really don't know how else to handle it.
oh Father, help me. i know it's wrong.
i made it known at 10:36 PM
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